I could fill books about everything I think is wrong with me. For example, I have awful nails and hands the size of a medium-built five-year-old. I'm terrified of ketchup. It's impossible for me to transfer people to voicemail on the phone at work. I'm physically incapable of hitting a volleyball and I've had a bump on my rib since freshman year of college (I like to think those last two are somehow related so that every time someone asks me to play volleyball, I can be like, "Oh, sorry, bro, the doctor's won't let me because I have a bump on my rib, I'm like, uneven or something. I'm gonna chill, you do you.").
ANYWAY, I could tell you a lot about the things I would change about myself, as I'm sure many people also could. We're our own worst critics. We look in the mirror and see things about ourselves that most people won't ever notice. And, when we do that, we sometimes miss the things that people do notice, the things that they love the most about you.
I started thinking about how fortunate I really am. When I was in London covering the 2012 Olympics (okay, yeah, seriously, I am the luckiest human being because I can start a sentence that way), the graphics team developed a "positivity policy." Basically, we realized how incredible the experience was and, even when it got super difficult and #dark, like the time Emily ended up standing on a chair and Alex started singing at the top of his lungs and then I started crying uncontrollably, we were never negative. We recognized our exhaustion and frustration, but we also realized we would never get an opportunity like this again and we needed to take full advantage of the amazing gift we were given/paying for in dollar (dollar bills y'all) of student loans.
The positivity policy changed the way I looked at the world in England, but I realized that since I've gotten back, I've lost some of that. I need to readjust my current life to mirror what I learned there. That's why, instead of focusing on anything negative in my life, I'm working on taking a second look at everything positive I have going for me.
So, every day, I'm writing down one positive thing that happened to me because I truly believe that every day, no matter how bad, will have at least one thing that should make me smile.
And, honestly, it's not that hard to make me smile. Like, last week. I bought Spotify Premium because I'm pretty sure that it's magic. There's so many songs and when I slide a little green switch, they magically appear on my phone and I can listen to them whenever. Technology is so cool.
I wanted to make the perfect playlist to listen to when I'm commuting to and from work which, hi, is way more complicated than it sounds because people on the T can totally hear your music and then base their snap judgement on your solely from that rather than your shoes or child-sized hands (or maybe that's just me, whatev).
Oh, and also, there are a gajillion songs on Spotify and anyone who knows me well is aware that I get stressed out over large numbers of different items. It's why I can't understand how Pinterest works/how it's interesting/why people spend any amount of time doing it.
So, in the middle of me almost pulling my hair out from the stress of going through the millions of indie songs on Spotify (triochotillomania, real thing), I re-discovered The Drums and it was more magic than Spotify itself.
I challenge anyone to not smile while listening to "Let's Go Surfing" by the Drums. It's impossible. It just reminds me of summer and ice cream and rollerblading (and probably surfing a little bit too). It is perfect and it made me smile. And, even though the music video makes about zero sense to me, there's nothing better than riding the T to work while listening to "Forever and Ever Amen." Which, hey, brings me to another reason that I'm super jazzed about life.
This is my first summer with a big kid job because last summer, I was too busy exploring England and watching Drew trip over every object in the UK, and the year before that, my family moved across the country and I was attempting to split my summer between Idaho and Boston, which turns out is a pretty difficult task.
Anyway, I have an awesome internship now and I love it. I get to make pretty things all day in a baller office with really great people and hang out in the city every day. There aren't many things better than that.
I am so lucky because there's a lot of things that made me smile this week. Like, boating with my family on the gorgeous ocean that we're blessed enough to live by and realizing that this is an experience I never would have if we hadn't moved to Boston. And, sharing such a strong bond of childhood memories with my little brother that we bought Backstreet Boys tickets for a concert in August, but we're already ridiculously stoked about it. And, lastly, I am the luckiest human because of a 22 minute long video I received from one of my best friends that was filmed on Cinco de Cry-o and documents our favorite memories, proving that I am part of the greatest friend group to ever exist.
Life is beautiful.